At the tone . . . please share a thought or two

Today is National Inane Answering Message Day, according to Holiday Insights, and we all know what that means. It's time to leave Sarah Manolis a voice mail. The 19-year-old Mt. Hood Community College Web-design student has spent four months collecting random voice mails from strangers. Manolis posts the messages on Send Me a Voicemail (www.sendmeavoicemail.com). As of Monday, she had received 673 calls from as far as Europe. Callers have rambled on about boredom, dead squirrels, how much they love Manolis and, in particular, nothing. "I need you to post this on your site as soon as you can," said one caller. "Elvis, your minions are waiting. We're all here. Speak to your commander." Actually, you should speak to Manolis' private answering machine at 503-766-2959. As long as you follow the rules -- no singing, for instance -- Manolis will post your voice mail. Her favorite was the weirdest fabrication-turned-birthday-wish she'd ever gotten. "I'm just calling about the incident yesterday," the anonymous caller said. "Um, I'm pretty sure your car is still parked on my dog. Um, he (stopped) whimpering, and that worries me. So if you could move your vehicle off of my pooch, that would be great." Long pause. "Happy birthday."

-- Steve Woodward